The Process of Transitioning
* John (not his real name) wishes to remain anonymous.
A Southern man who has recently started the process of transitioning from male to female says he couldn’t have done it without the help of Nga Kete, and is urging others who want to do the same, to go for it.
“Anyone out there who wants to do this - get help! Don’t hold back. Ask and ask and ask and don’t stop.”
John* was referred to Nga Kete’s Whanau Ora service in March for help through the process, and has been assisted by Whanau Ora Navigator Davina Mackley.
“Davina has gone right out of her way to help me. She’s talked to people, got me the information I required and she doesn’t judge me.”
Davina will assist John to visit a psychologist who will carry out an assessment, and he will then be referred to an endocrinologist for hormone therapy.
John has made a date in which he will appear as a woman in society, and has given himself a female name.
Growing up, John was raised by parents who insisted he dress and appear to the outside world as a female. He was treated as a female from the day he was born; dressed in girl’s clothes, hair tied in pigtails, makeup applied and sent to an all-girls school.
He knew no different, but he knew he wasn’t the same as the other girls, he says.
As a teenager John rebelled against his parents wishes and spent his adult life identifying as male, he was married and had a child. But after the relationship ended, he made the biggest decision of his life.
It was a decision he says had been with him all along. He decided he knew in his heart that he was not the man he was portraying to be. He knew he had to become the woman he was raised as.
Making that decision felt like a huge weight off his shoulders, he says.
“It made me feel real happy within myself like I finally knew what I wanted to do.”
John says he couldn’t have come this far and would still be struggling if it hadn’t been for Davina’s help.
John’s advice to others who feel the same way he does is to continue asking for help until someone listens, and above all – don’t hold back!
A Southern man who has recently started the process of transitioning from male to female says he couldn’t have done it without the help of Nga Kete, and is urging others who want to do the same, to go for it.
“Anyone out there who wants to do this - get help! Don’t hold back. Ask and ask and ask and don’t stop.”
John* was referred to Nga Kete’s Whanau Ora service in March for help through the process, and has been assisted by Whanau Ora Navigator Davina Mackley.
“Davina has gone right out of her way to help me. She’s talked to people, got me the information I required and she doesn’t judge me.”
Davina will assist John to visit a psychologist who will carry out an assessment, and he will then be referred to an endocrinologist for hormone therapy.
John has made a date in which he will appear as a woman in society, and has given himself a female name.
Growing up, John was raised by parents who insisted he dress and appear to the outside world as a female. He was treated as a female from the day he was born; dressed in girl’s clothes, hair tied in pigtails, makeup applied and sent to an all-girls school.
He knew no different, but he knew he wasn’t the same as the other girls, he says.
As a teenager John rebelled against his parents wishes and spent his adult life identifying as male, he was married and had a child. But after the relationship ended, he made the biggest decision of his life.
It was a decision he says had been with him all along. He decided he knew in his heart that he was not the man he was portraying to be. He knew he had to become the woman he was raised as.
Making that decision felt like a huge weight off his shoulders, he says.
“It made me feel real happy within myself like I finally knew what I wanted to do.”
John says he couldn’t have come this far and would still be struggling if it hadn’t been for Davina’s help.
John’s advice to others who feel the same way he does is to continue asking for help until someone listens, and above all – don’t hold back!
Dental Help
An Invercargill woman’s life has changed after being referred to the Southland Hospital dental service through Nga Kete Matauranga Pounamu Charitable Trust.
The woman has suffered dental-related issues since her teeth were chipped in an incident about 30 years ago.
Several appointments later the woman was terrified of dentists and funding had run out, which meant she did not return for the work to be finished.
Nga Kete’s disability kaiawhina Sandra Stiles recently referred the woman to Southland Hospital Dental Service, where after three appointments her teeth have been repaired.
“It’s made such a huge difference to my life,” she says.
“I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate Sandra for recommending me for it and to you and the awesome service that Nga Kete Pounamu Charitable Trust provides within our community.
“I’m so grateful thank you.”
The woman has suffered dental-related issues since her teeth were chipped in an incident about 30 years ago.
Several appointments later the woman was terrified of dentists and funding had run out, which meant she did not return for the work to be finished.
Nga Kete’s disability kaiawhina Sandra Stiles recently referred the woman to Southland Hospital Dental Service, where after three appointments her teeth have been repaired.
“It’s made such a huge difference to my life,” she says.
“I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate Sandra for recommending me for it and to you and the awesome service that Nga Kete Pounamu Charitable Trust provides within our community.
“I’m so grateful thank you.”
Invercargill Man Overcomes Alcoholism
John* not his real name wishes to remain anonymous
Suffering from extreme anxiety, alcohol was the only way John* could battle through and from the young age of 20 his life became dominated by it.
Throughout adulthood John was married, had children and owned a home but tragedy struck numerous times and his coping mechanism was always alcohol (and at one point even Listerine because it had a small amount of alcohol in it).
For John, who even turned up to his wedding drunk just to remain calm, life was easier with alcohol. He could hide his anxiety and socialize without feeling uncomfortable.
“I knew it was too much but I kept going because of my nerves. It’s the only thing that kept me going.”
For years John continued drinking heavily which eventually led to no car, no house, no partner and a heavy reliance on his weekly benefit, which he would blow at the bottle store anyway.
Then in 2003 John, now in his 60’s, suffered several alcohol-related seizures and an emotional breakdown prompting his family to intervene.
Worried about his health and the idea of loosing his family, John volunteered himself for a two-year programme, which he attended everyday. He was then discharged and referred to Nga Kete where he has been a client for the past 10 years.
John stopped drinking “cold-turkey” and suffered terrible withdrawals including shaking and headaches, depression, and he’d wake at 2am craving alcohol. He felt like he’d lost everything but knew he had to battle through, he said.
He consumed “lots of lemonade, coffee and tea,” talked to family and friends and began eating more because it would prevent him from wanting a drink. He also used medication in the first few alcohol-free days.
Although the cravings took years to subside, John has never relapsed. It has been 13 years since his last drink.
John says coming to Nga Kete was one of the best things he has ever done.
“It’s due to them (Nga Kete) that I’m still not drinking. I would have been hopeless without them. Things have really looked up since I started going there – it’s the best thing I ever did.”
He was part of a group every Wednesday and often visited one of the counsellors. Here, he learnt about the dangers of alcohol, the benefits of not drinking alcohol and what steps to take to refrain falling back on alcohol. And, for John especially, how to cope with stress, which had always been his trigger.
Nga Kete staff would check up on him often, which he says also helped him to refrain from alcohol.
Talking to other people in the group who had been through similar challenges also helped, he said.
“You can say things you wouldn’t normally say, because it’s a safe environment and they can understand. And, it’s all confidential.”
Nga Kete supplied John with the tools to prevent him relapsing (including talking to people and keeping busy) and helped him to get involved in community activities, he said.
“Every day I have something on now.”
John credits Nga Kete to his alcohol-free life and says his relationship with family has mended; he has more confidence, is able to drive on the open road without suffering an anxiety attack and is even helping another person overcome their alcohol demons.
John now has no desire to drink alcohol and feels better about himself and his health. He doesn’t want the hassles and problems that come with drinking, he said.
“My lifestyle now – I’ve never been happier. I feel so much better. I don’t need it.”
Recently John has started assisting another person battling alcohol issues and the pair speak daily. John helps the woman by explaining the challenges he faced.
It felt great to help “because of my own success. I’ve overcome the whole lot,” he says.
John doesn’t miss drinking alcohol at all and is looking forward to his alcohol-free future.
Suffering from extreme anxiety, alcohol was the only way John* could battle through and from the young age of 20 his life became dominated by it.
Throughout adulthood John was married, had children and owned a home but tragedy struck numerous times and his coping mechanism was always alcohol (and at one point even Listerine because it had a small amount of alcohol in it).
For John, who even turned up to his wedding drunk just to remain calm, life was easier with alcohol. He could hide his anxiety and socialize without feeling uncomfortable.
“I knew it was too much but I kept going because of my nerves. It’s the only thing that kept me going.”
For years John continued drinking heavily which eventually led to no car, no house, no partner and a heavy reliance on his weekly benefit, which he would blow at the bottle store anyway.
Then in 2003 John, now in his 60’s, suffered several alcohol-related seizures and an emotional breakdown prompting his family to intervene.
Worried about his health and the idea of loosing his family, John volunteered himself for a two-year programme, which he attended everyday. He was then discharged and referred to Nga Kete where he has been a client for the past 10 years.
John stopped drinking “cold-turkey” and suffered terrible withdrawals including shaking and headaches, depression, and he’d wake at 2am craving alcohol. He felt like he’d lost everything but knew he had to battle through, he said.
He consumed “lots of lemonade, coffee and tea,” talked to family and friends and began eating more because it would prevent him from wanting a drink. He also used medication in the first few alcohol-free days.
Although the cravings took years to subside, John has never relapsed. It has been 13 years since his last drink.
John says coming to Nga Kete was one of the best things he has ever done.
“It’s due to them (Nga Kete) that I’m still not drinking. I would have been hopeless without them. Things have really looked up since I started going there – it’s the best thing I ever did.”
He was part of a group every Wednesday and often visited one of the counsellors. Here, he learnt about the dangers of alcohol, the benefits of not drinking alcohol and what steps to take to refrain falling back on alcohol. And, for John especially, how to cope with stress, which had always been his trigger.
Nga Kete staff would check up on him often, which he says also helped him to refrain from alcohol.
Talking to other people in the group who had been through similar challenges also helped, he said.
“You can say things you wouldn’t normally say, because it’s a safe environment and they can understand. And, it’s all confidential.”
Nga Kete supplied John with the tools to prevent him relapsing (including talking to people and keeping busy) and helped him to get involved in community activities, he said.
“Every day I have something on now.”
John credits Nga Kete to his alcohol-free life and says his relationship with family has mended; he has more confidence, is able to drive on the open road without suffering an anxiety attack and is even helping another person overcome their alcohol demons.
John now has no desire to drink alcohol and feels better about himself and his health. He doesn’t want the hassles and problems that come with drinking, he said.
“My lifestyle now – I’ve never been happier. I feel so much better. I don’t need it.”
Recently John has started assisting another person battling alcohol issues and the pair speak daily. John helps the woman by explaining the challenges he faced.
It felt great to help “because of my own success. I’ve overcome the whole lot,” he says.
John doesn’t miss drinking alcohol at all and is looking forward to his alcohol-free future.
Cancer Pathway Navigator
Assistance from Dawn Wybrow, of the Nga Kete Matauranga Pounamu Charitable Trust Maori Cancer Kaiarahi Service, has made a daunting process more bearable for 75-year-old Henrietta Betty Anderson.
Henrietta, who had led a healthy and active lifestyle, was shocked when she was diagnosed with breast cancer late last year.
Visiting He Puna Waiora Wellness Centre for an unrelenting cough, Henrietta was referred to Southland Hospital where scans and tests uncovered the illness.
She’d had routine mammograms and the results were always normal.
“I was devastated. I didn’t want to accept anything. It took a long time to come to terms with things.”
“I thought here goes I’m going to be a sick woman. That’s how I looked at it.”
Soon after Dawn Wybrow approached Henrietta and offered her assistance, which she greatly accepted.
“She was there for me all the time. She was a comfort at a time when I really needed it. She was someone I could rely on.”
It was quickly decided she was to have a mastectomy and the operation was carried out in December, ahead of another operation in February to remove the cancer nodes.
Dawn helped Henrietta navigate that process, attended appointments with her and visited often simply to talk.
Henrietta has come to terms with the diagnosis and believes that is due to the massive support from family, friends and Dawn.
“I’ve come to terms with it all now. Having the friends I’ve got and the support has been the uplift of all of this for me because I wouldn’t have been able to do it without them.”
Having cancer has taught Henrietta not to be too complacent. You can’t have the “it won’t happen to me attitude”, because it can, she says.
Henrietta’s positive outlook on life has returned and she’s looking forward to the future and spending plenty of time with her grandsons.
“Every day is a bonus.”
Dawn is continuing to assist Henrietta as she heads into her third session of chemotherapy in two weeks.
“Thank you Dawn for being there and for the compassion.”
Henrietta, who had led a healthy and active lifestyle, was shocked when she was diagnosed with breast cancer late last year.
Visiting He Puna Waiora Wellness Centre for an unrelenting cough, Henrietta was referred to Southland Hospital where scans and tests uncovered the illness.
She’d had routine mammograms and the results were always normal.
“I was devastated. I didn’t want to accept anything. It took a long time to come to terms with things.”
“I thought here goes I’m going to be a sick woman. That’s how I looked at it.”
Soon after Dawn Wybrow approached Henrietta and offered her assistance, which she greatly accepted.
“She was there for me all the time. She was a comfort at a time when I really needed it. She was someone I could rely on.”
It was quickly decided she was to have a mastectomy and the operation was carried out in December, ahead of another operation in February to remove the cancer nodes.
Dawn helped Henrietta navigate that process, attended appointments with her and visited often simply to talk.
Henrietta has come to terms with the diagnosis and believes that is due to the massive support from family, friends and Dawn.
“I’ve come to terms with it all now. Having the friends I’ve got and the support has been the uplift of all of this for me because I wouldn’t have been able to do it without them.”
Having cancer has taught Henrietta not to be too complacent. You can’t have the “it won’t happen to me attitude”, because it can, she says.
Henrietta’s positive outlook on life has returned and she’s looking forward to the future and spending plenty of time with her grandsons.
“Every day is a bonus.”
Dawn is continuing to assist Henrietta as she heads into her third session of chemotherapy in two weeks.
“Thank you Dawn for being there and for the compassion.”
Comfort at a tough time
This woman wishes to remain anonymous
An Invercargill woman living with terminal lung cancer says Dawn Wybrow of Nga Kete has been a comfort at an otherwise extremely tough time.
The woman, who wishes to remain anonymous, suffers from several health issues including terminal lung cancer, type 2 diabetes and arthritis.
She was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer two years ago when she visited Southland Hospital complaining of constant exhaustion.
Although she had no symptoms of lung cancer, the diagnosis did not come as a surprise, she said, as she had been a heavy smoker (one pack a day) for 60 years. She’d also previously suffered breast cancer.
The woman explains Dawn, who she has known for a long time, has been visiting her often since her diagnosis and assisting to support her through it.
With plenty of close friends and family around, Dawn has been the person she knows she can call on.
“I feel I can ring her anytime … I know I can ask her anything. She’s always there for me.”
The woman is not currently receiving treatment, but makes sure she gets out of bed every day even when she doesn’t feel like it and has come to terms with her illness.
“You’ve just got to accept these things.”
The woman says she is lucky to have supportive family and friends who visit often.
An Invercargill woman living with terminal lung cancer says Dawn Wybrow of Nga Kete has been a comfort at an otherwise extremely tough time.
The woman, who wishes to remain anonymous, suffers from several health issues including terminal lung cancer, type 2 diabetes and arthritis.
She was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer two years ago when she visited Southland Hospital complaining of constant exhaustion.
Although she had no symptoms of lung cancer, the diagnosis did not come as a surprise, she said, as she had been a heavy smoker (one pack a day) for 60 years. She’d also previously suffered breast cancer.
The woman explains Dawn, who she has known for a long time, has been visiting her often since her diagnosis and assisting to support her through it.
With plenty of close friends and family around, Dawn has been the person she knows she can call on.
“I feel I can ring her anytime … I know I can ask her anything. She’s always there for me.”
The woman is not currently receiving treatment, but makes sure she gets out of bed every day even when she doesn’t feel like it and has come to terms with her illness.
“You’ve just got to accept these things.”
The woman says she is lucky to have supportive family and friends who visit often.
Help for the whole Whanau
*Not their real names. This family wishes to remain anonymous.
“We knew she liked to play the pokies, but we had no idea how far it had gone.”
When Jane* and John Smith* discovered their daughter had a gambling problem and had taken money from their bank accounts, they didn’t realize help was available for the whole whanau at Nga Kete.
But after being referred to us, the pair say the agency has helped to mend their relationship with their daughter and enable them to come to terms with what has happened.
This is their story:
In hindsight the signs were all there, the Smith’s say.
Their daughter had been dealt several emotional and relationship blows in recent times and her personality had started to change. Soon she was lying about where she was going and often she’d have no money.
Her parents didn’t realize she had turned to gambling as a way to escape her problems until Jane checked she and her husband’s bank account.
It was in over draught.
“I couldn’t believe it. But I just knew (it was our daughter)”.
A few days later Jane attempted to use her credit card only to find it was maxed out. When Jane queried the operator, she was told the venue of the latest transaction.
“And I just knew what had happened.”
In October last year John and Jane confronted their daughter who was quick to admit she had taken money from their accounts because she had a gambling problem (pokie machines and scratchie cards) and had exhausted her own funds. She desperately needed help.
The pair contacted the hospital and were referred to Nga Kete, where Sally* started attending weekly counselling sessions with Diane Mowat.
The Smith’s were offered the opportunity to come along and learn how to support their daughter and help to deal with what had happened.
“In my mind was I’ll come to let our daughter know we’re in this as well. After everything, we wanted to show our support.”
But after attending counselling with Diane, the pair found it very valuable.
“Talking to Diane, we found out the feelings we had were normal. There is a process of healing. It really does help to know it’s normal and that you’re not being too hard on yourself.”
The counseling for all parties helped open the channels of communication, they said.
“My relationship with my daughter is better and I wouldn’t have got that result if we hadn’t been coming here,” John said.
“We feel really fortunate that we had the opportunity. I never thought that this would have been available to the families of the addict,” he said.
Healing will take time, they say, but they’re positive their daughter is on the right track.
She has not relapsed once and is repaying the money to her parents.
“We knew she liked to play the pokies, but we had no idea how far it had gone.”
When Jane* and John Smith* discovered their daughter had a gambling problem and had taken money from their bank accounts, they didn’t realize help was available for the whole whanau at Nga Kete.
But after being referred to us, the pair say the agency has helped to mend their relationship with their daughter and enable them to come to terms with what has happened.
This is their story:
In hindsight the signs were all there, the Smith’s say.
Their daughter had been dealt several emotional and relationship blows in recent times and her personality had started to change. Soon she was lying about where she was going and often she’d have no money.
Her parents didn’t realize she had turned to gambling as a way to escape her problems until Jane checked she and her husband’s bank account.
It was in over draught.
“I couldn’t believe it. But I just knew (it was our daughter)”.
A few days later Jane attempted to use her credit card only to find it was maxed out. When Jane queried the operator, she was told the venue of the latest transaction.
“And I just knew what had happened.”
In October last year John and Jane confronted their daughter who was quick to admit she had taken money from their accounts because she had a gambling problem (pokie machines and scratchie cards) and had exhausted her own funds. She desperately needed help.
The pair contacted the hospital and were referred to Nga Kete, where Sally* started attending weekly counselling sessions with Diane Mowat.
The Smith’s were offered the opportunity to come along and learn how to support their daughter and help to deal with what had happened.
“In my mind was I’ll come to let our daughter know we’re in this as well. After everything, we wanted to show our support.”
But after attending counselling with Diane, the pair found it very valuable.
“Talking to Diane, we found out the feelings we had were normal. There is a process of healing. It really does help to know it’s normal and that you’re not being too hard on yourself.”
The counseling for all parties helped open the channels of communication, they said.
“My relationship with my daughter is better and I wouldn’t have got that result if we hadn’t been coming here,” John said.
“We feel really fortunate that we had the opportunity. I never thought that this would have been available to the families of the addict,” he said.
Healing will take time, they say, but they’re positive their daughter is on the right track.
She has not relapsed once and is repaying the money to her parents.
Danielle Woodhouse
(left) Danielle Woodhouse and her children with Nga Kete Stop Smoking Kaiawhina Joanne Te Tai.
Invercargill woman Danielle Woodhouse is happier when she doesn’t smoke.
The 27-year-old, who has recently given birth, was part of the WERO Challenge Southland team Pounamu and has not had a cigarette in several months.
Smoking since she was 13, Danielle described her habit as her “get out” time.
She’d quit once before for about six months but a stressful life event caused her to start again.
But after falling pregnant she decided it was time to stop for good.
Although she had nicotine patches she would often forget to put them on and ended up quitting cold-turkey, she says.
Danielle credits Nga Kete and the challenge to helping her remain smoke free.
The 27-year-old, who has recently given birth, was part of the WERO Challenge Southland team Pounamu and has not had a cigarette in several months.
Smoking since she was 13, Danielle described her habit as her “get out” time.
She’d quit once before for about six months but a stressful life event caused her to start again.
But after falling pregnant she decided it was time to stop for good.
Although she had nicotine patches she would often forget to put them on and ended up quitting cold-turkey, she says.
Danielle credits Nga Kete and the challenge to helping her remain smoke free.
WERO Challenge Success
An Invercargill woman’s frequent anxiety attacks have faded since she quit smoking.
The 25-year-old, who would spend $80 a week on cigarettes and smoked 15 to 20 roll-your-owns a day for four years, referred herself to Nga Kete Matauranga Pounamu Charitable Trust for help.
At the same time the latest WERO Challenge Wai-Mana-Pounamu was due to begin and she was asked to join the Pounamu team from Southland.
At the time, she was 10 weeks pregnant.
Her team, along with another Southland team Nga Hau e Whau won the challenge beating 11 other groups from across the country – all 20 participants are now smoke free.
It is the second time in a row a Southland team supported by Nga Kete has won.
For the young Invercargill woman, who also has two sons, quitting was very important to protect her unborn baby.
“I’d always wanted to try and stop but being pregnant really pushed me. I didn’t enjoy smoking at all.”
She attributes the challenge to helping her quit because there were other people counting on her.
And while the first four or five weeks were tough, she eventually quit cold-turkey.
Suddenly it became easier, the cravings were gone and she had no desire to go back.
“Once I was in the mindset of giving up, I did. I gave my cigarettes away and I’d make sure I spent all of my money every week so I had none to buy any … I didn’t even feel like smoking. The smell made me feel sick.”
Since quitting she has noticed she has more time with her children (“I didn’t realize how much time smoking took”) and her anxiety attacks, which she had about every second day, have faded.
She has now been smoke free for four months and won’t be taking the habit back up.
“It’s one of the best decisions I’ve made. I don’t miss anything about it. What a waste of money.”
The 25-year-old, who would spend $80 a week on cigarettes and smoked 15 to 20 roll-your-owns a day for four years, referred herself to Nga Kete Matauranga Pounamu Charitable Trust for help.
At the same time the latest WERO Challenge Wai-Mana-Pounamu was due to begin and she was asked to join the Pounamu team from Southland.
At the time, she was 10 weeks pregnant.
Her team, along with another Southland team Nga Hau e Whau won the challenge beating 11 other groups from across the country – all 20 participants are now smoke free.
It is the second time in a row a Southland team supported by Nga Kete has won.
For the young Invercargill woman, who also has two sons, quitting was very important to protect her unborn baby.
“I’d always wanted to try and stop but being pregnant really pushed me. I didn’t enjoy smoking at all.”
She attributes the challenge to helping her quit because there were other people counting on her.
And while the first four or five weeks were tough, she eventually quit cold-turkey.
Suddenly it became easier, the cravings were gone and she had no desire to go back.
“Once I was in the mindset of giving up, I did. I gave my cigarettes away and I’d make sure I spent all of my money every week so I had none to buy any … I didn’t even feel like smoking. The smell made me feel sick.”
Since quitting she has noticed she has more time with her children (“I didn’t realize how much time smoking took”) and her anxiety attacks, which she had about every second day, have faded.
She has now been smoke free for four months and won’t be taking the habit back up.
“It’s one of the best decisions I’ve made. I don’t miss anything about it. What a waste of money.”
Doris Hamilton
At 71 Doris Hamilton, a former bowls player, felt like she had lost her independence.
Diagnosed with arthritis in her hip, Doris’ days of visiting friends and tending to her beloved garden felt like it had come to an end.
Once fiercely independent, she started to struggle with the simple daily tasks such as vacuuming and getting out for a walk. Sometimes she would even spend weeks at home without seeing anyone.
“I couldn’t get out and do what I wanted to do. The things I used to do I couldn’t do anymore.”
But that all changed with she met Sandra Stiles from Nga Kete Matauranga Pounamu Charitable Trust.
Sandra obtained a mobility scooter for Doris through funding from the Lottery Grant and arranged physiotherapy appointments in her own home. One of Nga Kete’s nurses even started visiting her at home so she didn’t have to make the trip in to town.
Before the mobility scooter, Doris used a crutch to get around but she would often fall and felt unsafe and unbalanced. That was until she obtained a walking frame and while she was able to walk around with it, she could never go too far – even getting out of a car was a struggle.
About a month ago Doris was presented with her very own purple mobility scooter, which Sandra played an instrumental part in acquiring, and while she’s still coming to terms with the mechanics of it, it has been a life-saver.
“The scooter has changed my life.”
“I can get out and go to the supermarket. I can go into town if I want and I go can visiting. I don’t have to rely on anyone to take me anywhere. I can just do it now.”
“It has given me my independence back.”
Diagnosed with arthritis in her hip, Doris’ days of visiting friends and tending to her beloved garden felt like it had come to an end.
Once fiercely independent, she started to struggle with the simple daily tasks such as vacuuming and getting out for a walk. Sometimes she would even spend weeks at home without seeing anyone.
“I couldn’t get out and do what I wanted to do. The things I used to do I couldn’t do anymore.”
But that all changed with she met Sandra Stiles from Nga Kete Matauranga Pounamu Charitable Trust.
Sandra obtained a mobility scooter for Doris through funding from the Lottery Grant and arranged physiotherapy appointments in her own home. One of Nga Kete’s nurses even started visiting her at home so she didn’t have to make the trip in to town.
Before the mobility scooter, Doris used a crutch to get around but she would often fall and felt unsafe and unbalanced. That was until she obtained a walking frame and while she was able to walk around with it, she could never go too far – even getting out of a car was a struggle.
About a month ago Doris was presented with her very own purple mobility scooter, which Sandra played an instrumental part in acquiring, and while she’s still coming to terms with the mechanics of it, it has been a life-saver.
“The scooter has changed my life.”
“I can get out and go to the supermarket. I can go into town if I want and I go can visiting. I don’t have to rely on anyone to take me anywhere. I can just do it now.”
“It has given me my independence back.”
Shona Bryant
What started as a small headache led to a complete life change for 55-year-old Invercargill woman Shona Bryant.
Two years ago the once fit and active former wine representative was at work when she suffered a burst brain aneurism, which was followed by a stroke a few days later.
Shona was left paralyzed down the left side of her body and was sent to a rehabilitation centre in Dunedin to re-learn to walk and move her limbs.
Shona quickly realized she would never return to the life she once had and continues to struggle navigating stairs, walks with a limp and gets tired quickly.
“It’s had a huge effect on my life … I used to be totally independent, but I lost my independence. I had to rely on other people all of the time.”
Shona was then referred to Sandra Stiles at Nga Kete Matauranga Pounamu Charitable Trust.
“She did heaps to help me. It was someone to talk to outside of things … she’s a very caring, nurturing person.”
Sandra would go walking with Shona for an hour every week, which Shona found “liberating”.
And with Sandra, Shona achieved her biggest milestone since the medical event to date – walked 6km in the Invercargill Surf to City event.
Two years ago the once fit and active former wine representative was at work when she suffered a burst brain aneurism, which was followed by a stroke a few days later.
Shona was left paralyzed down the left side of her body and was sent to a rehabilitation centre in Dunedin to re-learn to walk and move her limbs.
Shona quickly realized she would never return to the life she once had and continues to struggle navigating stairs, walks with a limp and gets tired quickly.
“It’s had a huge effect on my life … I used to be totally independent, but I lost my independence. I had to rely on other people all of the time.”
Shona was then referred to Sandra Stiles at Nga Kete Matauranga Pounamu Charitable Trust.
“She did heaps to help me. It was someone to talk to outside of things … she’s a very caring, nurturing person.”
Sandra would go walking with Shona for an hour every week, which Shona found “liberating”.
And with Sandra, Shona achieved her biggest milestone since the medical event to date – walked 6km in the Invercargill Surf to City event.
One Man's Journey
John (not his real name) wishes to remain anonymous.
“Wealth used to be the potential of winning lotto. But now wealth is health and family.”
John’s* addiction to pokie machines was ruining his life, in fact he says it was soul-destroying, but he couldn’t stop.
But after a change of heart and several years of counselling at Nga Kete Matauranga Pounamu Charitable Trust, he hasn’t been near a “dreaded” pokie machine in four years.
“I have gone from frequently being broke, stressed and anxious to a sense of peace now having my priorities in order.”
“I am sincerely grateful for the amazing support I’ve had. Words will never convey how thankful I am. I do hope that in some way I may be able to help and support others.”
This is his story:
John*, 50, knew from a young age he liked to gamble - more specifically the “feel” of the gamble. It was the thrill, the desire, the rush.
Even at eight-years-old the idea of winning money was irresistible and before he knew it, it had turned into a life-long gambling addiction. John* went on to loose more than $20,000 a year for several years.
At eight-years-old he can recall often visiting an amusement parlour in town, and later wagging school to play pontoon with his friends, with $5 wagers.
Once he started working gambling became his way of life. It was etched into every little crevice of his existence.
John* admits pokie machines were his demon. The thrill he would feel from them never went away.
“All I could think was I might get the jackpot, it was the lure to make money. I felt safe there … it would take my mind off other stresses. The down times were tough but I’d get over them by playing the pokies.”
With a wallet full of credit cards it became too easy to obtain credit and for several years he estimates he put at least $20,000 to $25,000 through the machines each year.
Progressively the gambling worsened and John’s* wages were never enough. He was borrowing money to put petrol in his car but often it wouldn’t make it to the car, he couldn’t afford to pay his rent and credit card companies started chasing him.
Even still, he wasn’t happy at the pokies unless he had $300 in his pocket each time.
Five out of the seven days he’d be at the pokies after work, and sometimes even during work.
“I’d take extended lunch breaks because I got held up at the pokies.”
There were plenty of times he’d decided enough was enough. But it never stuck. He even recalled one occasion where he’d referred himself for counselling.
“But I remember being in a counselling session and looking at the time thinking come on I need to get to the pokies.”
Then in 2004 John* met his wife “a great blessing” and she was to become instrumental in his decision to quit the pokies for good.
“I was gambling a lot. She knew but not to the extent. I’d justify my gambling. It was my chill out time. She would go and play her sports and that was her chill out time. This was mine.”
John* struggles to explain what changed, but described it as something shifting inside him and he realized he needed to stop for good.
Five years ago he referred himself to Nga Kete and while it has been a long journey, it has proved successful. He last gambled at a pokie machine four years ago.
“It’s been life-changing. It was a team effort between Nga Kete, Diane and myself.”
“It’s like smoking. Sometimes I miss it, the good old times, especially when I was winning. But I don’t think about it long now. I know that it impacted everything … It sucks the absolute life out of you.”
Nowadays, he keeps himself busy helping others and spending time with family.
The idea of sitting down in front of a pokie machine again is not on his radar.
John* excluded himself through the Multi Venue Self Exclusion programme but the exclusion has now come to an end.
“I can now go to any pub and play the pokies but I choose not too.”
“Why would I go there?”
MULTI VENUE SELF EXCLUSION
If your gambling is getting the better of you and you need help to get back on track text your contact details to TXT 2 X (which means text to exclude). The programme allows an individual to access the Multi Venue Self Exclusion programme through a text message before an appointment is made at NKMP to begin the application process. MVSE allows you to exclude yourself from Invercargill gaming venues for three months to two years.
Arnica Harris
Recently we welcomed Arnica Harris to the position of Addictions Services Consumer Advocate. The role involves advocating for our clients and contributing to continuous service improvement in a setting of excellence.
Arnica, who is very passionate about her own journey with our agency, jumped at the chance when she was offered the role. She views her new position as the stepping stone to a new chapter in her life.
Arnica has led a challenging life through foster homes, alcohol addiction and brushes with the wrong side of the law. This story is just a snippet of events from her life.
“I’m not a victim; I know I’m not a saint. A lot of this is self-inflicted.” Arnica hopes her story will help other suffering addicts.
“I want people to know you get the most growth out of the worst events that have happened to you in your life. But, know that there is a way out. Anything is possible.”
Her journey at Nga Kete has helped her realize her potential and the bright future that lies ahead.
This is Arnica’s story:
Arnica, who was born in Whangarei, spent her childhood moving across the country from foster home to foster home.
It wasn’t where she wanted to be and rebellion kicked in at a very young age.
“I was rebellious from the very start, and it gradually got worse the older I got.”
She felt as though she didn’t fit it anywhere – “I didn’t have an identity” – and would often get angry and run away from her foster homes, which is when she was introduced to the drinking culture. Getting expelled from school wasn’t an uncommon occurrence.
At 15 she was placed in a flatting situation but the rebellion worsened, she started mixing with the wrong crowd and the drinking increased. Her financial debt started spiraling out of control as she jumped from flat to flat.
Things “mellowed out” for a while after she met a man.
“I was still drinking but there were no cells or arrests.”
But it wasn’t long before her drinking started to increase again and the relationship soon plummeted. Arnica’s drinking became a need to suppress rather than to have fun. She would drink a 12 to 24 pack a day depending on how much money she had.
“I was the naughty kid, but it was normal. I knew no different. I didn’t realize I was capable of anything more. I thought my life was going to stay the same, and I was happy with it.”
In about 2008 she was introduced to Nga Kete but she wasn’t ready to make a change.
Her mental state would be the catalyst for change.
About three years ago Arnica referred herself and has been a client ever since participating in group work and counseling.
“The staff made me feel 100 per cent supported and they could see the change happening in me.”
“They want you to succeed. They see your potential. They showed me my potential. I’ve grown up in these rooms.”
Arnica’s last drink was March 14, 2014.
She is enjoying her “new life”.
“I’ve realized I’m more than just a drunk. I’m intelligent. I’m a good speaker; I’m a good mum, strong and very capable. I’ve got something to offer.”
“I know all of that (my life so far) had to happen to lead to this.”
Arnica, now a mother of two, has been renting a house for seven years (her longest home she has ever lived in), has learnt about stability and how important it is.
“No matter the obstacles, I don’t have to run. I can stay grounded and get through it.”
Arnica’s future is looking bright. She’s excited about the opportunity to work within Nga Kete. She’s also enrolled at the Southern Institute of Technology to begin training in social services in the New Year.
“I just want to succeed.”
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Carol Ngeru
Carol Ngeru, who started smoking at the young age of 11 and smoked for 27 years, says quitting is one of the best things she's ever done.
Carol smoked about 25 roll-your-owns a day and struggled to break the habit but her determination and the support she received from the WERO group, helped her beat the habit.
Carol smoked about 25 roll-your-owns a day and struggled to break the habit but her determination and the support she received from the WERO group, helped her beat the habit.
Desiree NehoAs a youngster Desiree Neho thought the smell of cigarettes was "the most disgusting thing on the planet".
But from the age of 16, she smoked seven to ten roll-your-owns a day. Looking back, she never would have had that first puff. "I could have done without it (my whole life)". And, now she can. Desiree has broken the 24-year habit and been smoke free for a month after quitting cold-turkey. Her sense of smell has increased signficantly, food tastes better and her children are proud of her. |
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Nikita Dobson
Nikita Dobson, 17, entered the Supported Youth Living House in January. She was shy, quiet and timid. But, being in the house has taught her independence and she is thriving in education, physically healthier, and her state of wellbeing has improved.
She has almost completed NCEA Level 2 and a hospitality course. She doesn't know where she would have been if it wasn't for the house and describes it as a life-saver. CEO Tracey Wright-Tawha says the house has been a success. It is based on family values and run as a family dynamic with great ground rules, clear responsibilities and exceptionally good supervision, seven days a week. The non-contracted service has been essential in supporting improved well being for the 19 young people referred to date.
She has almost completed NCEA Level 2 and a hospitality course. She doesn't know where she would have been if it wasn't for the house and describes it as a life-saver. CEO Tracey Wright-Tawha says the house has been a success. It is based on family values and run as a family dynamic with great ground rules, clear responsibilities and exceptionally good supervision, seven days a week. The non-contracted service has been essential in supporting improved well being for the 19 young people referred to date.
STOPtober
Congratulations to our STOPtober Challenge participants, who ALL recorded a carbon monoxide reading of less than three and received $100 for their efforts. We’re so impressed with the group’s efforts. One participant in particular had been smoking for about 70 years!
One of the successful group participants, a 54-year-old Invercargill woman, jumped at the chance to join our STOPtober Challenge after noticing it in the newspaper.
The woman started smoking at the young age of 16 and had quit for short periods several times throughout the next 38 years. But she’d always wanted to have somewhere she could go to talk to other people and obtain support.
She attributes the support of Nga Kete’s STOPtober group and the amazing Teina Wilmshurst to beating the habit and intends to continue attending the meetings to keep her motivated.
She believes if not for the group she would still be smoking.
Her former habit of 15 to 20 roll-your-owns a day has been broken and instead she is enjoying more freedom and more money!
Smoking had always been her reward in life but with the $100 prize money she intends to reward herself in a different way.
One of the successful group participants, a 54-year-old Invercargill woman, jumped at the chance to join our STOPtober Challenge after noticing it in the newspaper.
The woman started smoking at the young age of 16 and had quit for short periods several times throughout the next 38 years. But she’d always wanted to have somewhere she could go to talk to other people and obtain support.
She attributes the support of Nga Kete’s STOPtober group and the amazing Teina Wilmshurst to beating the habit and intends to continue attending the meetings to keep her motivated.
She believes if not for the group she would still be smoking.
Her former habit of 15 to 20 roll-your-owns a day has been broken and instead she is enjoying more freedom and more money!
Smoking had always been her reward in life but with the $100 prize money she intends to reward herself in a different way.
